Q: My mother refuses to have her hearing tested even though we keep telling her she is missing out on our conversations. How can I convince her to get hearing aids?
A: When one person in a relationship notices hearing loss in the other person, it can often lead to this discussion and, unfortunately, sometimes a conflict. Often, people resist hearing aids because they are fearful of how it will impact them. They may think they are cumbersome and annoying or will make them feel or look old.
Whatever the reason, there are so many more reasons that hearing aids can enhance someone’s quality of life. People often do not think of hearing loss as a health condition, but in fact, it is considered the third most preventable chronic health condition in the United States. Not only does it affect quality of life, but it is linked to a higher risk of dementia and social isolation.
As we age, so many things influence how we live our lives. It almost feels like they are all making our world smaller. Your ability to drive may be restricted to roads you are comfortable on, or to daylight hours. Your vision may be changing, and your mobility may be slowing down.
But if your hearing is changing, there is most likely something you can do about it so that it will not restrict your ability to hear and engage with the world. The key may be understanding each person’s “why,”why they want the ability to hear, and how it will benefit them.
My mother recently got hearing aids after her grandchildren complained that she was not responding to them. She agreed to have her hearing tested and found hearing loss that could be treated with hearing aids.
She was very proud to come back and visit with her new hearing aids, and she was amazed at what a difference they made. She laughed that she did not know before that she could hear someone eating potato chips when seated next to her!
Her grandkids shared that they used to be embarrassed when she took them to the library because she would talk so loudly. The “why” for my mother to get hearing aids was the ability to hear her grandkids. It worked, and she now tells all her friends how great they are and that they should all get them.
Think about what the “why” may be for your mother. You may even want to ask her that question. It can help to talk about it as a health condition.
If she can share her concerns, then you can help address them. Technology has come such a long way. You can have hearing aids that connect via Bluetooth to your phone. My mother used to use a speakerphone to talk, and now she hears the conversations right in her ear.
They are so small that they barely can be seen. You can even control the volume and whether they are listening directly to the person in front of you or all around you just by using an app on your phone.
Start a conversation with your mother and let her have the space to share her concerns and explore her “why”. Encourage an assessment by an audiologist as a first step to better understand her hearing loss health condition. You may not be able to force her, but you can help explore the topic and open the dialogue between you both.
Martha Shapiro can be reached at Senior Concerns at 805-497-0189 or by email at mshapiro@seniorconcerns.org.
