Q: The holiday season is beginning and every year I feel like it rushes by, and I always feel so stressed with all there is to do. How can I make the holidays less stressful this year?
A: The holidays are often a busy time and there are many pressures to make it all seem perfect. Often it includes finding the right presents, hosting family and friends, going to social events, decorating, and sending holiday cards. It is easy to feel pulled in multiple directions.
I find I keep a running list of all the things I have to do for the holidays, and it can feel like I am just trying to get through the season successfully. But what does it really mean to have a successful holiday season? Is it that we have had the best experience or that we have made others feel that we provided the best experience?
This holiday season is a good time to reflect on what really makes it a successful time for you. You get to decide what that means. If your past experience has been that the stresses outweigh the joys, then make a commitment to change that.
Think about what causes the most stress and do something different. Instead of worrying about the perfect gift for each person, find one item you like and buy it in bulk to give to everyone. Consider a nice blanket with the message that you are giving them a warm hug. Or an item that gives back to a charity you care about.
If you host celebrations, consider making them a potluck, asking someone else to host, or keeping it simple this year.
Set your boundaries and plan what you will and will not do this year. Make sure to give yourself breaks and time to relax. Say no to things that you do not enjoy and manage your expectations.
Remind yourself why you do all these things for the holidays and try to connect with the reason the holidays are important to you. If you focus on all you are grateful for it can ease some of the pressures and stresses of the season.
Some may feel stress because they do not have the extra money to spend this time of year. Enjoy free or low-cost events in the community and at your local senior center. Write thoughtful notes, memories, or recipes as sweet gifts for your loved ones rather than store bought presents.
If you find your social calendar is not full enough then reach out to other friends who may feel the same. Invite them to join you at a local event. Most cities offer a tree or Menorah lighting event that is free for the community. There are also communities with extra special decorations on the homes that you can walk around and enjoy for a free evening of fun.
Many people feel heightened emotions during the holidays. Practice self-care, set your boundaries, and plan ahead for the season. Reach out to others who may feel the same and connect with the spirit of the season and what is most important to you.Martha Shapiro can be reached at Senior Concerns at 805-497-0189 or by email at mshapiro@seniorconcerns.org.
