Q: What is a reverse bucket list?
A: A reverse bucket list is basically the opposite of a regular bucket list. A bucket list is a list of things you want to do or achieve before you “kick the bucket.” It can be motivating and help guide people towards what is most important to them. However, an alternate way to look at it is to think of the reverse, not what you have yet to do, but what you have already accomplished.
A reverse bucket list is a way of looking back on your life and logging all the things you have done that you are proud of and have succeeded at accomplishing. It is a way to help strengthen your life satisfaction.
A pitfall of a bucket list is that sometimes people put things on the list that are huge and unattainable. Or they include things that are not really accomplishments but rather exciting things they may have felt too scared to do, like jumping out of an airplane. Then when they do this exciting thing, they may not actually feel the sense of accomplishment or satisfaction they imagined.
That is not to say that having a bucket list, or rather a list of goals, cannot be motivating. When done right it can be a wonderful way to encourage us and push us towards living out our dreams. At every age it is good to have things to aspire to and look forward to. Our goals may need to be modified over time, or they may even change completely from what we imagined we would want when we were younger, but it is never too late to try new things and experiences.
The act of looking back and taking time to realize all you have done is very therapeutic. Reminiscing in a thoughtful and purposeful way allows us to feel gratitude for what we have done and had.
Overall, it is best to have a balance. Start by looking back and allow yourself to highlight and enjoy all you have done. These may be more obvious things like degrees, awards, acts of service, or travel. But they may also be less obvious to outsiders but important to you, such as standing up to someone who upset you, moving out of the town you grew up in, holding a steady job, or learning a new language.
Write these things down in a list so you can see it in one place. Consider sharing this list with someone you care about, or with a younger person to give them ideas on things they can work towards. That person may even suggest things to add to your list that they noticed in a way you did not.
Only once you have really examined your past can you truly look at the future with a lens on what you still want to accomplish. Perhaps you want to build on something you have already done, or maybe you want to add in a new experience. Make goals that are attainable and include steps to get you there. Enjoy the journey it takes you on no matter how far you get on it.
You get to define your accomplishments and think about what is most important to you. Whether looking back or making future goals, think about what is best for you and your life satisfaction.
Martha Shapiro can be reached at Senior Concerns at 805-497-0189 or by email at mshapiro@seniorconcerns.org.
